Apparently a serial killer has made a serious death threat against me as a result of my blog posting. Let's hope that this is not my last post.
More information on the TV news coverage can be found here, you'll need speakers to hear the story: http://www.sliceoflifetv.com/index.php?id=6327377e
Thanks to all who have volunteered to stay by my side, armed of course, during this difficult time for me and my family.
El Scott Harrell
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For your information:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Liberals and Conservatives.
Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.
Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement. Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.
Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen.
Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided. Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.
Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Foie gras, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men (a la Hillary Clinton). Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
Conservatives drink domestic beer (maybe a Stella Artois sometimes). They eat red meat and raw fish and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, private investigators and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.
Liberals produce little or nothing.
They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.
Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to aggravate them.
Breaking news.
Is it just me or have we MAYBE found the source for the material used in all of the improvised explosive devices (IEDs) finding there way into Iraq and killing American soldiers? Perhaps this has been an effort by the Chinese government to destabilize the region thereby making the United States look bad in the eyes of the world. It's not too much of a stretch to believe and Yemen is not exactly a hot-bed for mining or other activities requiring this huge amount of explosive powder.
Stay tuned to this one for sure....
Explosive Powder Found on Chinese Ship
AP
BATAM, Indonesia (Nov. 8) - Indonesian troops found detonators and 63 tons of explosive powder on a Chinese ship anchored off Batam island after it broke down in the Malacca Strait, a local police chief said.
"We are trying to find out if these explosives were legal and what they were intended for," said Brig. Gen. Sutarman, head of the Riau Islands police, adding that documents found on the ship indicated it was bound for Yemen.
Police who boarded the M.V. Rose at the Cita Tubindo port in Batam, just south of neighboring Singapore, found one container filled with detonators and five others packed with 63 tons of explosive powder, he said.
National and local police are investigating the cache, he said, refusing to say how many people have been questioned over the case.
Mark your calendars for Saturday, August 26th 2006.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Taliban male to see any woman, other than his wife naked, and that he must commit suicide if he does.
So… on Saturday 8/26/06 at 4 p.m. (EDT) all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked in an effort to weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended.
For this anti-terrorist effort, all men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Taliban and to demonstrate that they think its okay to see nude women, other than their wife, and to show their support for all American women.
Since the Taliban also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Taliban sentiment.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out Islamic terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on.
GOD BLESS AMERICA- Keep her safe.
I saw these statistics the other day and about fell out of my chair...
Doctors:
The number of physicians in the U.S. is 700,000.
Accidental deaths caused by Physicians per year are 120,000.
Accidental deaths per physician is 0.171.
Guns:
The number of gun owners in the U.S. is 80,000,000. Yes, that is 80 million.
The number of accidental gun deaths per year, all age groups, is 1,500.
The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.000188.
Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR. PLEASE ALERT YOUR FRIENDS TO THIS ALARMING THREAT. WE MUST BAN DOCTORS BEFORE THIS GETS COMPLETELY OUT OF HAND!
What is the business-world’s greatest blunder?
Was it the single hull design employed in the building of the Titanic in a cost saving move? Perhaps it was New Coke? Then again, who can forget the precise business acumen of the Frenchies who negotiated the Louisiana Purchase for 3 cents an acre and the Native Americans who sold us Manhattan for a handful of blue beads and blankets? Some people might even say buying and holding Enron stock was the most terrible business decision.
Well... how about the Professional Bail Agents of the United States (PBUS) inviting the Media Hound to their annual convention?
Yes, I would put that move among the most egregious errors in judgment ever committed in modern industry. It is going to cost the association dearly- both in terms of the short term effects on convention attendance as well as long term losses due to an increase in member defections (in an already declining membership).
I have empirical evidence to support this…
I was speaking to the Tennessee Association of Professional Bail Agents (TAPBA) today in Nashville, TN. It was a standing-room-only event and the largest crowd wth whom I have ever had the opportunity to speak (400+ bail bondsmen and a few bail enforcement agents). During my presentation on Advanced Skip Tracing Techniques and Apprehensions, I mentioned the importance of maintaining a low profile in order to preserve the element of surprise during an arrest. Off the cuff, I made a comment that a certain media personality would have a difficult time being inconspicuous because of his appearance that was immediately met with an astounding groan from the audience (I did not need to mention him by name); I sensed that some of the audience member’s attitudes had shifted as well.
Everything else went fine and as planned. So much for extemporaneous speaking.
During the following break, a bail bondsmen who has been in the business for over 24 years and VERY well respected in the TN bail community stomped up to me and said, “You know, they (PBUS) made a farce out of their organization by inviting the Media Hound to our annual conference for a photo opportunity. I am NOT renewing my membership- that was the last straw as far as I am concerned!”
(I wondered if they wouldn’t have to stand the media hound on a milk crate so that he wouldn’t appear too short to be in pictures with anyone over 5’10”)
Then "Avis," who was with me at the moment, agreed with the bondsman and echoed the same sentiments; he would not be attending the convention or renewing his membership as a result. Furthermore, the vice president of one of the largest insurance (surety) agencies was disgusted as well.
Wow… that was a pretty strong reaction, I thought, though I was vaguely more concerned about the crowd that was gathering around us. They were restless.
A voice from the growing number of people, who were now straining to hear our conversation, said that PBUS had made a mockery of the industry by inviting the Media Hound. He was obviously not in the minority either- these guys were genuinely pissed. I can’t say that I didn’t understand where they were coming from; I was definitely disappointed when I read the convention schedule advertising that the Media Hound would be at the convention for a “grip and grin” too. I had 10 or 15 bail bondsmen right there who felt strongly enough about this issue to seek me out and let me have a piece of their mind about just that. (Whoa guys… you are preaching to the choir!)
Take it up with PBUS.
Before you get your panties in a wad, dear Media Hound Fan, you must accept the reality that a majority of bail bondsmen have a passionate distaste for your superhero. Despite the evangelizing and the empathy he has for his clients on TV, he has not been good for the industry's image. You see… bail bondsmen have never enjoyed a particularly savory or wholesome image and are often associated with being only one step removed from the people they get out of jail. While that might have been the case 20 or 30 years ago, today they are constantly fighting a battle to restore public confidence in their important role within the American criminal justice system and improve the public’s overall opinion of the industry. The Media Hound represents a visual step in the wrong direction.
I have long suspected the leadership at the Professional Bail Agents of the United States of having an anti-bail enforcement agent agenda and I believe that this opportunity is EXACTLY what they needed to advance their cause.
The Media Hound’s very appearance (the mullet, tactical vest, leather arm bands, etc, etc) and grandiose behavior gives us all fits… but most especially the bail recovery agents. And what better way to reinforce all of the negative stereotypes that the bounty hunter suffers in the minds of bail bondsmen than to parade this guy in front of several hundred of them! Now THIS is “uber-sneaky James Bond kind of stuff” perpetrated by PBUS’ leadership to advance their cause against the independent recovery agent. Disrupt… discredit… and destroy.
In their overzealous pursuit to stamp us out, or perhaps just the overly simple excuse for an opportunity to bask in the light of the Media Hound’s television crew, PBUS’ leadership has lost their way and forgotten to account for the feelings (and activism) of their own membership. Good luck with that.
I think I’ll have a New Coke; it goes down easier and wasn’t really all that bad after all.
It’s late, I’m going to bed.
One to file in the "Advanced Conspiracy Theory 501" category:
I read this incredible tale of a man in New Mexico as reported by the AP and laughed until I almost puked:
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FORT SUMNER, N.M. - A mouse got its revenge against a homeowner who tried to dispose of it in a pile of burning leaves. The blazing creature ran back to the man’s house and set it on fire.
Luciano Mares, 81, of Fort Sumner said he caught the mouse inside his house and wanted to get rid of it.
“I had some leaves burning outside, so I threw it in the fire, and the mouse was on fire and ran back at the house,” Mares said from a motel room Saturday.
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There really is something to be said about Karma…
But in further pondering this man’s plight and being the security-minded individual I’d like to believe I am, I thought, “Wow… how dangerous this could shape up and become. I hope that the eco-terrorists and house mice don’t join causes. It could be a disaster!”
Think about it, if terrorists like my man Mustafa “donthockonmybread” Aziz and his Merry Band of Brothers can talk young men and women of purported reasonable intelligence into blowing themselves up in the name of religious zeal, then why can’t those rascally eco-terrorists convince hordes of angry young mice, of much lesser intelligence, to commit acts of suicide-arson?
Convincing them should be easy enough; I mean the mice have just as much reason to be as vengeful as a violent-sect of Muslims, right? The mice were displaced from their land too and must face the constant loss of life, poverty and the destruction of their habitat to the Invader. With the dizzying array of traps and poisons and glue and tomcat predators unleashed on them in the endless pursuit of a rodent Armageddon what’s the lowly mouse to do? And who’s to say that the man who lost his house isn’t an Infidel in the eyes of the common house mouse, and as such, this mouse's actions couldn't be justified by some religious edict handed down by the Iratollah Mousetafa?
If those crazy-ass tree huggers collectively manage to spark a singular thought amongst themselves over this one, they could destroy millions upon millions of dollars of SUVs and new housing developments in a way that could take the heat off of them and place it squarely upon the unsuspecting, but equally motivated, mouse.
Perhaps this mouse managed to burn this guy’s home to the ground not in the pursuit of Karmic Bliss, but in a riot of revenge and religious fervor previously fomented by some secret sect of college students hell-bent on crusading in the name of Mother Nature.
A sinister plot indeed! My Spidey-sense tells me that we could be in a lot of trouble here folks… stay tuned.
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